yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

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What did hitler said to the chinese? Thank you for continuing my legacy.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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roses are red, violets are blue, niggers are black and so is my poo

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Why was the dog fallowing the fat guy. The fat guy said come.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

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Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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Barney is a pedophile Loves dino molestation Stuck a dildo in his ass And died of constipation

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

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I meant to state that I threatened to kill him unless he refused to state that I broke his knees (and broke his wrists, I forgot to mention that too, such misery... ...Give a real man a chance here, its not every day I have to kill my mother... But you still wont hear me whining about it, asked my wife if she forgave me if I spent the rest of the day smirking, after all my mother "had visions" where my wife was Satan, which is fun, since I was also Satan the day I was born... Because my name is Nero... A NAME SHE GAVE ME! Still, not very dignifying getting the shit beat out that old hag because she was on some blend of angel dust, and still not so fun killing her by biting half her neck off... ...Literally not so fun, kinda fun? You bet, tasted disgusting, watching her choke to death was...Lets just say I have shared enough joy with you for one day.

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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What do Kim Kardashian and a broken-down horse have in common? They will both eat oats out of your hand.

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michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

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penis

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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an englishman,scotsman,and irishman walk into a bar the englishman says " a pint of lager please" "that will be 10pounds , says the barman "Im not paying that , ill see you in court" says the englishman . The same thing happens , in turn to the scotsman, and irishman ,and a summons is issued. In court the jugde says "why are you charging drinks too dear?" the barman says "im not, im selling them to a englishman ,scotsman, and a irishman..

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What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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