Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

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Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

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What's blue? The sky.

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

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Arrow in the Knee!

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

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What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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What do you call a cow without legs? Disabled.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops