Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A blackman and an asian are walking down the street they pass eachother exchange looks and continue on with their day

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? A. it said concentrate.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Gingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Call of Duty is a good game.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops