How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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Q.what has big ears? A.your vagina.

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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What's worse than walking into a lampost? Your seven year old child accidentally finding and watching a sex tape that you made years ago.

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THis guy went into the bathroom with a girl in the middle of party and they started having sex but then the guy has to pee so he does... and then he leaves the bathroom and goes back to the party

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roses are red vilest are blue shes mine and if you take my place my fist will go in your face

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How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Why did he? NO I LOST THE CHICKEN Later: Knock knock Who's there The chicken

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Q: Why did the black man have a gun? A: We was recently indicted for insider trading and preferred suicide to a long prison sentence.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

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*knock knock* Who's there? ...Who's there?... *opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step*

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A cat ran into the road...I hit it

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Two Jews walked into a bar. Then bought it.

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What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jon "Bones" Jones will be fighting Rashad Evans for the Light Heavyweight title tonight at 10PM Eastern time at UFC145.

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What are the seven wonders of Kentuky cows,drugs,liquor,moutain due,moster trucks,shot guns and trucks oh and I for got Crackle barrle.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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I can vote and I am equal to males in the work enviornment. That's what she said.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops