balls

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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A Boy Walks Up To A Frog At the Bus Stop And Says, “Why Are You So Upset?” And The Frog Replied, “I’m Waiting For The Bus Because My Car Just Got TOAD!”

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

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42

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Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

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What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

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Why was the black man hired at the clothing store? He needed some money to feed his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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