How many Jews does it take to fill a shower? As many as it does to fill an ash tray.

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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A plane crashes in the wilderness on the border of Canada and the U.S. Where do they bury the survivors? I lied. There were none.

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

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How does a black guy die? Unknown

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Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

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Why did I deleted brian from my friend list ? Cuz he had brain tumor.

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

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Sam: This math homework is gay. Cory: You should pursue a romantic relationship with your gay math homework.

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Are you a tree

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Are you from Jamaica? 'Cause you're making me crazy! Are you from Haiti? I'm really sorry about all the disaster that's been happening there.

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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Pickles are moist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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