what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

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Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

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"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

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Knock Knock Who's there? My fist

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

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Roses are green,violets are blue,i'm high as ****,is that perfume or glue?

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I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

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Three women are sitting in a bar. One is drinking beer, one is drinking wine and one is drinking vodka. Which one is the widow? The one whose husband is dead.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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Why did the farmer's wife leave the farm? Because she was a lesbian.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

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Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

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three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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