How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

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knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

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How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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what did the women with no arms and legs say to her daughter? go to your room.

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Why did the parents order the 16 year old daughter to move out of Virginia? Because she lost her virginity

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What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the king's horses and all the king's men, went and made an omelette.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

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Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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