Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you, but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl empty and so is your head.

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What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

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WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

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Jew logic fail: Jew: We have endured suffering for thousands of years! Guy: And how old are you again? Jew: eight. Moral: If you see a goddamn moral in this one then post it yourself :P

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the fried chicken restaurant... BAWK BAWK cannibal

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what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

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"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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rocky is staring at us from outside...

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Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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Gingers.

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Roses are red, violets are blue. my Mom is a hooker.

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What is my favorite color? How the heck should I know?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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