- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

why does the world spin? Chuck Norris says so

I like touching my boobs

Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

Life is like a box of chocolates. Well...not really no. It's not.

If i open this door you can go trough it

shammmm is a lesbian.

How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

Dead on Aodhan your breaking te ten commandments by lying you jew you dont believe in the divinity of Christ.

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

i lyk 2 eet pup

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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