whats worse than a worm in your apple? the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust? two worms in your apple

How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

* Are you afraid of dinosaurs? * No, they're all dead.

What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

Q. whats piggy called A. Patrick gearthey

THE GAME.

How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

No.

I like colin but not as much as apple

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a question.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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