Pi and i are having an argument about the state of modern mathematics. Pi goes into a frenzy and i says "be rational". Pi does not realise that i was just being friendly, and so tells him: "get real". [L]

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Johnny: One day dad i will be tall like you! (Later that day johnny was found dead in a garbage bag)

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Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

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troll----> hahaha---->

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Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

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Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

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I'm gay.

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how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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There is big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse And helping your uncle jack off a horse

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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belly button

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Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

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roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

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Well that sucks, your dad is dead.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why did the elephant not do 9/11? Because he drank a hispanic turtle.

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What do you call a guitar with only one string? A guitar.

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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Roses are black Violets are Black I'm Hellen Keller

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Keep talking shit bitch, and I'll come for you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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