Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do call a purple animal that eats rocks? A purple rock eater..

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a little boy cry? You rape his dog

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I can vote and I am equal to males in the work enviornment. That's what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops