Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are black people good at basketball? While there are many preternaturally gifted black men and women in professional basketball, the notion that one race holds sway over the others in terms of sheer skill and talent is a ridiculous stereotype; propagated, no doubt, by both ignorant and jealous persons of other colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I was driving to Wal-Mart the other day and I saw a black man in a white Murcielago. I thought to myself that he must be doing good. Because everything he owns is white..... dick

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? because its probably your bike

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why could the kid not finish his homework? Because it flew out the window on the way to his parents funeral

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

In Soviet Russia, millions die under an oppressive and uncaring regime that uses communism to justify its inhumane policies.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Today, my friend threw a lemon at me very hard and hit me in the testicles. FML

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I think everybody should have a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did john say to bob Hey bob

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are black people so tall? Jesus was also black and therefore gives black people some favorable traits.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

FUCK THE JEWS

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

thumb_up thumb_down -9

go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops