How do you give an 80 year old man a heart attack? Hold a gun to his head

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What did death say to life? Go die

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What is a Mexicans favorite sport? Tennis.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? Poke her Face.

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A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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dude... what would you do if i punched you in the face? i would pee on you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken never made it across the road because it was hit by a car with a driver who is obsessed with abusing animals.

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A sober Irish individual.

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Erron, who the hell do you work for? I thought we where friends, allies! We have not done anything illegal ever!

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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42

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Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

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a man walked into a bar because he needed a part time job to support his family.

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

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Q: What do you call a black pilot. A: A pilot you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops