why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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How to have a cheap party in just 5 steps: 1. Buy 100 McDonald's burgers and give everyone food poisoning 2. Bring out that black serial killer's mask you've been working on. 3. Bring out that sharp knife. 4. Slit everyone's throats. 5. Dance.

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Just found out that it doesn't work.

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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How does the black, high school kid get his new clothes, IPod and nikes? By working at his family-owned convenient store with his father and grandfather every night after school, but not until his homework is done.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

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Q.what do you call 7x7 A.A math equation

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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Happy Monday!

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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