Why are lizards broke? Because they run around the desert with no money...

What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends how hard you throw them.

How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

Roses are Roses Violets are Violets I am to Literal, That is a statement.

What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sociopathic murderer.

(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

What's big, moves around everywhere, and has four wheels? four TEENS on four wheelers

Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a trashcan? A: A dead baby in 10 trashcans.

What do you get when you cross a leopard with a camel? Sacked from the zoo.

What did the little girl buy for her cat? A box to bury him in.

Why did the cashier let the jockey off 10 cents? because he was short 10 cents

Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

How do you make an anti-joke offensive? Add racism to it.

What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

what's funnier then 15? definitely not 14

This statement is false.

what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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