A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

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there was a guy who had 2 horses... he entered them into races... they were rubbish... kept losing... so he entered them in 1 big race and said hed get rid of the loser... the horses made a plan to finish it at exactly same time... he heard them talking and said HOW DARE TALK

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What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

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What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What's black and sits in the back of a police car? The seat.

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what do you call a black clerk? one of the 2 billion people with a job, u bum!

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Who did you see last night? Nobody, no one wants to see you.

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Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud.

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what is friendship? when friends go on a ship

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What does a kid with no arms and legs get for christman.... Cancer...

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Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

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There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

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What do you call a Mexican playing basketball? A man of hispanic heritage that enjoys the sport of basketball.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

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A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex give anyone a high five? Cuz he's dead.

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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roses are red violets are blue that's just the way god made them

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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Why was the boy considered a bitch? His name was Jason Jubin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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