It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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chuck norris

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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What do you call an asian woman with one leg? By her name.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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What did the man do when he dropped his bar of soap. He picked it up

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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Why are rich people so rich? they're not poor.

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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