Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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01010010001010010100100101001001010010100100100100100100100100100100100100010010101010101010101011010101010110010101010 Dolphin

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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What do you call a black man with an afro? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What did the speech impaired man say ? Nothing.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

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Your face

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You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad ill be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!!

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

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Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

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Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

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Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

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If chuck noris has five dollars and you have five dollars, he has more money than you. He forgot about the extra dollar in his back pocket

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How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? (written in 1600 BCE - Westcar Papyrus) -You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish

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Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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what did the white car look like... a black car but the color is different

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Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

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Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops