why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a well prepared meal!

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pudding

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

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Jackie Chan: Who the **** is chuck Testa? A: Chuck Testa was an internet sensation who became famous after his video on Youtube advertising his taxidermy business, Ojai Valley Taxidermy.

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Why did the man cross the street? Because no cars were coming and he wanted to get to the othher side

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What do you call a Black man with AIDS? Unfortunate.

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your dad called night and told me your grandpa died.

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MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

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What's the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies is a horrible tragedy.

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Q: Why are lizards broke? A: Because they run around the desert with no money.

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What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? I got feathers stuck in my cars grill

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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Whats black and cant read white paper? An African

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops