Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock Who's there? Not you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A guy jumps off a cliff and does a reasonable thing, scream to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mom is so fat and stupid that she used butter to get through the doorway, but she ate it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the man eat the cheese? because the man was a mouse

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks GET OVER IT

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Today i started to think lucas was homosexuaI.. I am scared

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why was 6 afraid of 7? because he's a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Gun laws don't work because criminals don't pay attention to the laws

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the pregnant teen get for Christmas? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops