A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is a life without options.... an optionless life

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the funniest joke in the world? Written.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

~Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was dead. ~ ~Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was stapled to the monkey!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

hello juliano and guss. having fun?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops