What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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Andy Carrol

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

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Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

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-Knock knok who's there? -Orange Orange who? -Orange you glad im an orange? ...I believe you have confused the noun "Orange" with the conjunction "aren't".

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Why are there no aspirin factories in the Amazon Rainforest? Because it would be unprofitable to build a factory that requires a large workforce in an uninhabited area.

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What's red and curly and goes 100km an hour? Palfi in a blender

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

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Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

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So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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