Why can't Tom Maynard play cricket anymore Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

balls

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the black man watch basketball instead of Tennis? Because Basketball is a very popular sport to African Americans, and tests show they can just higher than Caucasians, Asians and Hispanics.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did Anne Frank do this weekend? Nothing. she died in the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If you like piña coladas! You might be an alcoholic

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is a bad thing to see and is attached to a boy's body. The middle finger u dumb ass!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops