A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

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What did the circle say to the square? Ur a square

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Someone clearly messed up on naming the flower. Violet is synonymous with purple, Which is obviously NOT blue; It's the mixture between blue and red.

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A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

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Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

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One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

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A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

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What do you call 55,000 clowns exiting a small car? Fiction.

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100 chefs walk into a bar

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What do you call a man with one ear? A one-eared man.

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MC donald the duck loves Justin's Balls. And Daniel Ma loves fried chicken boiled with rice \Cupcake

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So much with being an author... You with the Feds? The CIA?

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Q : What is the similarity between me and my friend? A : We both are crazy

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Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

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Why was the man sad? Cause his dog fell off a cliff

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What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

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What do you call a muslim flying an airplane? A pilot.

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I agree

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your girlfriend is so dumb she is clinically retareded

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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