Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks.

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You do not, as she is blind and deaf, and partaking in doing so would be the morally wrong thing to do.

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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nick ya honkin of b.o m8

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Why did the Mexican stop mowing the family's lawn? Because he felt it was time for his son to learn some responsibility.

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What's little and very sad? A 5-year old locked in a cage.

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Q: whats snoop doggs favourite weather? A: drizzle

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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Joker: say knock knock. Person: knock knock Joker: Who's there?

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Elephant. Elephant who? Seatbelt.

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soccer

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so the weather's nice...

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what did the radish say to the orange i'm a radish

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"your momma's so fat that she died in her sleep last night," said the doctor. "There was nothing we could do."

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I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

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Why did greg come to America? Because he wanted visit the states

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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