I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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A Mexican, a Caucasian, and an African-American jump out of an airplane. They all die.

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So two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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who is gay for wild ones- Ryan Mcgggguigan

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation. Polite cow who recognizes normal social cues and civilly waits for its turn to contribute to a conversation who? Moo.

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

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How do you kill a circus? Assuming this is metaphorical usage of the word 'kill', you would withdraw funds, involve the SPCA and offer all the major performers better contracts elsewhere.

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If you had to go blind, would you go blind? If you said no, then you are wrong. You had to go blind.

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Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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what do mexicans need to survive............. a truck load of herowin and BOARDERS!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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*prepares this to get negative votes*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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