How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a brick at it.

What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

Michael Jackson's favorite places: Toystore Candy shop Playground Amusment parks Kindergarden classroom Orphanige

How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

Dad: i hate you. dads son:(kills him self)

What do you call a pig and a ball when u come across both of them? A ball hog!

What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

What's worse than getting raped? Getting anal raped twice

what do u get when two cars collide... a bunch of mexican

What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

Why did the Japanese man commit suicide? He was terminally ill and decided it was his time to go

That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

Why wouldn't the baby boy stop crying when the babysitter was in the room? Because he put cigarettes out on him.

There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

Why was the Mexican in pain? Someone hit him with a frying pan 5 times across the face.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

What do you do when a dog chews your pen? Use a pencile instead.

What smells like satans pubic hair and dresses like a woman? Vinny Trolia

Want to hear a joke? Unequal rights.

Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

Where do you go when your friends called you spoiled? Africa.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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