Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

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So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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Woman's Rights

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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Whats an Anti Joke

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

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What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

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What did the doctor say to the camel with no hump? You're a horse.

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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Why was the little boy upset? He was on fire.

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Heartlight

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

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i have a christmas tree.

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I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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