rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Mr Jones, we're sending you to a mental health clinic

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the kid say to the ginger? You're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was a red light and it was his turn to cross.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

your mom died.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Our experimental treatment for Anterograde amnesia has failed. I will inform your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The anti joke that repeats itself :(

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If you like piña coladas! You might be an alcoholic

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Lets Go Lakers!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

thumb_up thumb_down +17

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops