How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Me: You want pie? You: Yeah what flavour? Me: Pie flavour.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"Doctor, doctor, I am having a hard time controlling my muscles!" "It's Lesche-Nyhan Syndrome, this is a genetic terminal illness...i'm sorry."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q.whats long, black and hard to cut through? A.a line at kfc!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue The more you know

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Sloth runs...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do u know the difference between a adam and rappers you dont they r the same

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A French man gets into a fight

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If you're riding on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a car? Blue. Because Ice cream doesn't have any bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

thumb_up thumb_down -4

THE GAME

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The joke below this comment is stupid. Lets go Mets

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was no oncoming traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

5

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops