Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Because She had no arms. Why did suzie fall off again? Becauze Jimmy was trying to snipe her in the head the first time

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What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well, there is no way to accurately estimate this number being that 1.woodchucks in fact do not chuck wood and 2. there is no time frame given for said action to take place

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Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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You know what's really long? The bread lines in Africa

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what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

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You know what isn't funny? Getting punched in the face. You know what is funny? Brittany Spears getting punched in the face.

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a horse nibbled a baby

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what does a gay horse eat heeyyyyy

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

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Roses are red, violets are blue God made me beautiful, how about you?

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If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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