How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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what is the difference between a black person and a little boy with autism .... the boy with autism is smarter with more education than the black person

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

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what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

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The Female Orgasm

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How do you call a man in a wheelchair? Disabled.

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What do you call a mexican driving a plane? Well.. nothing because you can't drive plane's but if a Mexican man was able to FLY a plane, he would be a pilot.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Today is May 18 2016.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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So three nazis walk into a B.A.R

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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