Why wasn't the man talking? Because he was sleeping.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

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homework

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says, "I'm Japanese!" The second man says, "I'm Japanese too!" The bartender says, "I'm also Japanese!" The bar was in Japan.

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How do white people screw in light bulbs? They read a manual.

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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learn the ropes?

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How many dead jews can you fit in a hole? Ask hitler.

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You know what they say about big feet... Wow, those are some big feet.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus give presents to African children? Because Santa Claus isn't real.

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What do you call a fat kid? I don't know...you tell me

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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why cant helen keller drive? because cars werent popularly accepted when she lived.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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A man walked into this bar, and said ouch.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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So I was walking down the road today

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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