Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who wants pizza crusts?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the black man cross the road after 5 years of trying to and getting hit by cars every time? some1 put KFC on the other side. MrBounty44

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two families of pedophiles go to the beach. One of the dads lays down to suntan and looks at the other dad. "Hey! Get out of my son!" he exclaims.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is a chair?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

aodhan hearty is a fruit fly

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why do black people have dark skin? because they were born that way

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the white teen say to the black man? Sup nigga. What then followed? A savage beating at which the teen did not survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Who's there? Oh. I was just making sound effects.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

who ever is reading this....

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops