Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

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Q. How do you make an oil lamp turn off? A. Break it.

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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Why was the math book crying? Three men just brutally raped his wife.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

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I love pissing people off :P

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It is true that Trump will make America great again.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N Porn.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Wanna hear an anti-joke?

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why did the asian go to the bar? they were told they could drive better when drunk how much worse could they get

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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