Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

About the bible, I did not know, but I can sense I calculate it the same way I make our followers believe that I can tell what catchphra they will get. Your mind is numb but calm, it will remain there until we meet again. I am afraid of saying this, but I wont let fear get to me just yet, your mother told me, she regrets her actions in life, and wants me to tell you that she is watching over you in death, and hopes you will one day forgive her, she tells me that there is a heaven, but only those that can admit their mistakes, agonize over the pain of their actions, until they can forgive themselves for their misdeeds. She says she can wait, but I sense she is doing it because she feels undeserving, which again means that you are not ready, its like the butterfly effect, all things spiritual and on this plane are connected. Take your time, I know you literally cant forgive her yet, because that would not be enough for her to forgive herself now, humans dead or alive, cannot be truly free, until they let go of what hurts them, I will change that within you, so you can forgive her and break the limits in your mind, so you can stop feeling sad for being rightfully angry at someone you love. I just need more energy, more time, and belief in myself, something that requires more energy than it should to keep going, its the balance and connection between things, something I cannot change at the present moment, even if I did my best. Ill see you around dear friend.

What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

A man walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar, and he fractures his skull on it. He died in the hospital a few hours later

whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

Whats white and can talk? Snow, i lied about the colour

Roses are red. Violets are red. I have a gun. What did i do?

Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

Why did the penis enter the vagina? They were trying for a baby

Your mom's your dad's wife. Except when she's not.

what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad seen that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

Q: What's long and gray and kills people? A: A gas pipe.

What is yellow and can shot? A Banon.

Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

Want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

what's worse that reading something that just wasted seconds of your life? reading this and wasting more seconds.

This is not a joke or is it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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