Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

Today i started to think lucas was homosexuaI.. I am scared

What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

Yo mama so stupid that she was tested and found to be mentally retarded.

What Batman Said to Robin before getting into the car? I'll drive.

How do you make a puppy stop barking? Throw a brick at it.

What's the difference between and black dick and a white dick? To get to the other side

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

what do u say when u see your tv floating in the middle of the night? drop it n*****

A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

Roses are red violets are blue when i flush the toilet i see you :)

Roses are red violets are blue this is an anti joke so like this

where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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