A blond, brunette, and red head jump off a building. Who hit the ground last? The red head because she was last to jump.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

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Knock, Knock Come in

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Q: What happened when three lions escaped from the zoo? A: Animal patrol came and tranquilized all three.. Unfortunantly one of the lions died from to much tranq.

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

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I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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Whats the thing you least expect to find on Anti-Joke? A joke with a punchline.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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shut up kobe!

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

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What happens if Chuck Norris meets a Transformer? Nothing. They would converse, then go their separate ways. Or Chuck would get killed. Horribly.

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Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

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What do Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder have in common? They are both blind.

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Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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