- Anti Joke

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

Why did the man cry when he was surrounded by black men? He got a call saying his mother had just died.

Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

Roses are black, violets are black. I'm blind.

How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

matt f stupid because no one likes him

Whats green and has wheels? A green honda

Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

What starts with N, ends with R, and is a black guy? NeighboR!

Rachel not blowing Robert.

Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

Q: wanna hear a racist joke? A: sure RB: You're pathetic!

A mexican pedophile stalks a child home. He molests him.

A man comes home to find his wife in bed with another man. He then joins them.

What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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