Two giraffes walk into a bar, hit their heads, cracktheir skulls and die.

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Roses are red, tires are black, why is your chest as flat as your back!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she was deaf and blind and would have been a hazard to herself and others.

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Wanna hear a great joke? (any answer) Your dad's choice of condom.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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Where do snowmen keep their money? Snowmen don't have money

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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If life gives you lemons, Eat them.

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I would rape her

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What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

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What do u call a black man playing a jumping sport? I don't know but it is totally normal.

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Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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Jimmy Saville

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Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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what does the black guy order for a drink at the bar. kool aid

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Why can't Johnny run? He has no legs.

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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

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Jaden McMichael

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Q:What Did The Man Say When He Lost His Body A:Nothing He Die. Because If You Ever Lost Your Body You Would Die...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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