a. how did you shoot the rabbit? b. with my banana

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What did Anne Frank say to the Nazis who found her? Please be gentle.

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What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

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I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

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what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

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Take this and put it- No.

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

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So a Jewish, Hispanic, and Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "aren't you tired of this?"

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Q: why was the girl so dumb A: her teacher was a blond

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James: They say attitudes are contagious. Bill: How do you know? James: My whole family caught it and they will all die within 2 weeks.

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On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me nothing because I'm single

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'Knock Knock' 'Who's there?' 'My name is Boo, I'm sorry,I think I was given the wrong address, I'll be on my way now' Boo walks away from the unsuspecting person's front door and goes to the next house along in the hope of finding the house he was originally searching for.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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how many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? none their all dead.

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Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

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Q: why was the women out of the kitchen? A: Probably to partake in one of her many hobbies.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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Why doesn't Rosa Parks eat bacon? Because she's dead.

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What do you call a barn full of black people? antique farm equipment.

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How many Aumish farmhands does it take to operate a state of the art commercial laser-cutter? One,provided he has the relevant training and experience.

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Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

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What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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