- Anti Joke

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

An irish man walks out of a bar

what sad about 4 mexican dieing in a car crash??? My car

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

What's the difference between? Your mom.

Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

Knock knock Who's there? Doorbell repairman

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

Knock, Knock Whos there? Docter Docter who? Yes its me, Craig Who your docter, I have the test results back Im afriad its positive,you've only got a few months left

What happens if you shoot a chicken? It dies.

How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

You're welcome!