The Detroit Lions

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yo mama is so fat she has to wear large sized clothing

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Q: Why did George Lopez walk into a Taco Bell? A: To purchase a 5-layer Gordita Burrito

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

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What's Terry short for? He's missing a leg.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

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Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

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how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

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knock knock who's there me me who? me me me me who? me me me me me me who? and the more the joke continues the less funny and more annoying it gets

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Chuck Norris will inevitably pass away sometime in the future.

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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What did the rednecks say when they saw the bat? Ma, I'm afraid this is the Myotis Sodalis, or Indian Bat. It is an endangered species. Thus, we cannot shoot it.

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Two elks were out flying one day. One of the elks turned to the other one and said: - You have a cinnemon bun in your eye. - What? - You have a cinnamon bun in your eye! - WHAT? - YOU HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN YOUR EYE!!! - I CAN'T HEAR YOU, I HAVE A CINNAMON BUN IN MY EYE!

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Your Momma is so old, she started exercising more and eating healthier to increase the chance of her living long enough to enjoy your own children's lives.

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roses are red violets are blue you might think i can write poems but, bit i really really can't

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A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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What happened when man put a dog in the blender? He got arrested for Animal abuse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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