When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

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A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

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I like the way he thinks. Too bad he has alzheimers.

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How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names...

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The grass is always greener on the side that uses manure and fertilizer daily.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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Q: What did the Big Bad Wolf say to Little Red Riding Hood? A: Nothing, wolfs are mentally nor physically capable of talking

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What happened to the famous musician when he overdosed? He overdosed.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a Sociopath with a very violent history.

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A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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