A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

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Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Tic tac toe. You were adopted.

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Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

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What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

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What's worse than a dead baby? 2 dead babies

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Why did the autopilot of a plane malfunction even though the pilots had engaged the switch? The pilots had taken manual control. I lied about the switch.

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What happens when you feed a Mini-horse a Happy Meal? If it doesn't die choking on the plastic toy included in the meal, It will most likely develop a terminal case of horse diabetes and suffer through a slow painful dying process.

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An Asian fails their maths exam.

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What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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No one walks into a bar... because it was closed.

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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