whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What has four wheels, two wings, and flies? A bird...I was kidding about the wheels.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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What do you get if you cross a Sheep with a Kangeroo. An abomination unto God.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 witnessed while hiding in a closit 7 rape and kill his mother.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your neighbor. I just ran over your cat.

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Knock Knock. Whose There? Lettuce. Thats impossible.

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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You are so stupid you should go to school and get an education so you are able to get a well paying job in this tough economy

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Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

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So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

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Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

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Woman's Rights

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3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

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An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

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what smells worse then shit Drew White

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A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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