What happened when the man lost his sandwich? He couldnt eat.

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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roses are violets red is blue i like doughnuts doughnuts are good

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

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Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

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What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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tight butthole 4 lyfe.

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What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

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Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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You’re so dumb that many individuals find your intelligence inferior.

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Together we can get theist likes on anti-jokes :)

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So a seal walks into a club..

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Yes!

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees - have nothing at all in common.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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