Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? i don't know, ask 6

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

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Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

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Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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chinga tue madre Ryan

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops