Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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OMG my mom just let me go to a concert in feb 31,2012 wohoo! LOL

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops