guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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