Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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Why wasn't the black kid allowed in the school? Because it was the Southern United States in the 1930s and due to racial tensions at the time most public facilities were seperated by race.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Joseph Fritzl.

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What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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