-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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Why did Emily sit in a lonely corner? Because she just wanted to okay!

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. It just isn't relephant.

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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