Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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