How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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did u ever hear a bird joke "no" hawkword

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You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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